Updated: Nov 18, 2022
Being able to feel my own love didn't always come naturally to me. I wouldn't say that I felt no love. But my journey was filled with a quest for safety. I longed to feel safe and peaceful. And that took center stage. Taking all energy and attention away from the - at the time - extremely silent whispers of my heart.
Or at least how I experienced and interpreted it.
My ears and system were filled up with the loud needs and pulls of others. Of the external. Sometimes I went so beyond myself in trying to control or grasp the external flowing in a manageable way. Orchestrating a delusion that I thought was within my power to resolve.
And a sneaky one too, as I had unconsciously disguised it as my actual need.
Needing peace so bad that I believed with all my being that calming the world around me was the only way. A juggle that created such a sound that it would be near impossible to hear my heart scream.
But it did. Over and over again until I stopped one day and figured out that the uncomfortable gnawing inside of me was my heart. literally crying. So I stopped and began listening.
I learned to reframe being selfish.
I learned to set clear boundaries.
I learned to listen.
It didn't happen all at once and I didn't do it alone. I accumulated all kinds of tools on my search for the peace that helped me understand the fullness of my love. It is my life force soul energy, the unique essence that brings this body and being to life, the connecting juice that makes us all one.
Do I forget to listen? Yes, I'm human. But it's a cycle of unpeeling, learning, exploring, deepening. Like the feminine, it is not linear. But the awareness and tuning in gets faster and faster the more you open yourself to it.
You catch yourself doing it again, yet with increasing compassion that paves a pathway that helps you choose to come into heart again.
And so today I want to share a gift with you. A start to opening yourself to the depths of your heart. Not trying to talk to it, to tell it that you trust it, to direct it in any way.
But to start a practice of deep listening.
Love is the natural vibration of our essence. Yet we unconsciously close off our heart to others & ourselves as protection from hurt and pain. Guarding our ability to love and receive love.
When you listen deeply to what your heart is holding onto & longing for, you open space for healing. Letting go of past pains gives space to begin a journey of opening and expansion.
Then heart energy is able to flow which welcomes and opens to more compassion and joy.
And all you have to do is start listening.
It is a practice - that's why it takes practice. Regularly and as much as possible so that the natural connections are mended. To bring you to a place in your life where you intuitively know you are open to the whispers of your heart.
So I made this 10 minute meditation to help you start. Let me know how it goes.
PS. You can dive into ways to reunite with your essence, pleasure & body with me here.
Juel helps women and non-binary queens re-connect with their inner source of power to create authentic and passionate lives. Creating transformational journeys back to essence.