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The Practice of Calming the F*ck Down

Updated: Jul 29, 2021

When discussing how to approach of processing emotions, I often get asked what the simplest practices are to get a start on understanding and releasing them. Basically how to calm the f*ck down when you feel an emotion rising or overwhelming or keeping you stuck.

There are as many ways to process emotions as there are people, as each of us has a unique map of the world. But there are some essentials that help tune into and settle the body and nervous system.

So below are a couple of basic everyday practices you can explore. And before you beat yourself up for not having enough time, not knowing if you're doing it perfectly, or whatever else comes in to cloud the mind with doubt and resistance - remember it takes practice. It is through gentle practice that we open ourselves to the unfolding of life and the signals we receive internally that help us navigate it.

#1. Self- Exploration into desires and needs: Ask yourself the following questions as soon as you've realized that you feel stuck with an emotion. Be as specific, honest and clear with yourself as possible. You are welcome to journal them if that feels right to you:

  • What triggered my emotion? Be specific, without going into story. Was it a tone of voice, an injustice, a behaviour, a word, a perceived look...

  • What emotion am I experiencing? Identify the emotion as clearly and specific as possible, define the emotion you’re experiencing without victimizing yourself. State it to yourself – “I feel ……..”

  • Where do I feel it in the body?

  • What are the specific sensations?

  • What do I need right now that I’m not receiving?

  • What am I getting out of not having my needs met?

  • What am I truly asking for? Ask yourself if you are being clear about your desires.

#2. Shake & Dance it out: Shake your body and dance out your emotions for at least 5 minutes a day. Try one song a day as a committed practice to move and release emotional energy in the body. Feel into the sensations in the body, and let yourself move through and with them. Allow yourself to be free in your body and movements so that the body slowly takes over the movements. Shake/Dance out the parts of the body that feel stuck or stiff or disconnected.

Try it, journal about it, feel the sensations. Ask for what you need. Give yourself the space and chance to come back to you.

I'd love to hear how you experience this. Let me know in the comments below.

Psssssssst: Check out my Get it Out! Course where we dive into all kinds of healing practices to release and express emotions in a healthy way. Bringing you back to your essence.

See you soon.

One love,



Juel helps women and non-binary queens re-connect with their inner source of power to create authentic and passionate lives. Creating transformational journeys back to essence.


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