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Not afraid to be afraid

Updated: Nov 18, 2022

Fears. If you look it up it is described as an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm.

It something that connects us all. Connects us in the way that it is something we all have experienced in different ways throughout our lives.

Some fears are more incapacitating than others. Yet even the smaller threats influence our behaviour, how we share our truth, our intimacy, who we allow ourselves to be in the world.

They can be an underlying force that dictates everything. It you let them.

And yet it is something that we believe we can either avoid or conquer.

What if there was another way?

What if we learned to be OK with the discomfort that is caused by them? And listened to what our needs were in the moments they arise.

Some years ago, after sharing a deeply confusing, challenging and emotional moment of my relationship with some friends I was told I wasn't afraid to be afraid.

I had never thought of it like that at the time.

No I wasn't afraid to be with the uncomfortable uncertainty that came with not knowing what would happen between me and the man that I loved and was sharing my life with.

Was it easy? Hell no. Did it make me feel like I would explode with emotions and panic? Yes.

I didn't have all of the answers. And in the storm I made a ridiculous amount of mistakes in the moment. Mistakes that have brought life lessons and that still leave a residue that in this process of life and partnership. There were moments that I felt so clouded by emotion that I don't fully remember the details.

What I do know is that I allowed myself to feel? That I sat alone with myself, in all of the fear and unknown. I didn't push anything away. I felt into my body and breathed.

Of course my head kept trying to interrupt and take over. I kept coming back to sensations. Until a slow gentle stillness emerged. I felt a rush of energy flow through my entire core from head to toe. A soul alignment. It brought clarity.

I knew that no matter what happened I would be OK. That it was what needed to happen. I let go of needing to know. I let go of thinking that I could control any outcome. Or that the outcome that I desired was the right one.

I resolved in feeling my energy. My body. My life force. And all that came with it in that moment.

Yes, learning and practicing tools for over a decade has helped me do this. Tools that helped me be in discomfort. Knowing that if I allowed myself to feel what was there and give it space. It would move. It shifts and transform. It begins to flow instead of stagnate in my body waiting for a moment to burst.

I have practiced and learned to get comfortable with being in discomfort. Being insecure and shaky.

Some things move faster than others. The more I listen inwards, and respond to my immediate needs. The more I come into acceptance. The more still I become.

And this isn't only for those big moments or events that hit you. This is for any moment you feel the fear rising inside of you.

Take a breath to be present with yourself. Remove yourself from the situation if necessary. I often suggest that people go to the bathroom cause no one disturbs you in there and shake it out of your cells.

No matter how silly that may seem - it works 😉

Meet yourself where you are. There is nothing to force when it comes to fears. It may amplify it. Instead, breath courage into the moment to receive what the fear is telling you. Let go of expectations and the illusion of control. Stop listening to the voice in your head. Feel the sensations of where it lives inside of you, settle your physical body, breathe all the way into your feet.

Do what is needed for you in the moment to BE with YOURSELF.

Much love and light to you. See you soon.

One Love,


PS. PS. You can dive into ways to reunite with your essence, pleasure & body with me here.


Juel helps women and non-binary queens re-connect with their inner source of power to create authentic and passionate lives. Creating transformational journeys back to essence.

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